I often neglect myself in life because I'm always so caught up in making sure everyone else's needs are met. It's one of my greatest character strengths and flaws. I am a human rug, and people walk all over me because I'm too nice.
The problem is when I stop being the rug. I don't know quite how to balance being nice and standing up for myself. It's the difference between FIRM and BITCH. I know, I know, it seems like it should be easy to handle... but I have a short fuse and mental instability... so a little goes a long way with me. Often I'm flying off my rocker when I really should just barely be getting annoyed.
I am trying to give myself more alone time. More time where no one is asking me for anything, and I don't have to do anything except exactly what I want to. This is going to be good.
I hadn't noticed that it had been 6 months since I wrote a blog... that's simply far too long. I need to sit and collect my thoughts from time to time so I can think about things a little more clearly another time... or remember a point of view I once had. It's healthy and helpful.
Since my last post, I graduated school, went to State Board and passed the written/failed the practical, Jenna moved in with me and so did Jewell, Ashley moved out and we got a kitten named Oliver. I still agree with what I said then. Life happens at an alarming rate. The more I think about it the more it freaks me out. Always planning for the future, even though I'm still not quite sure where I want to/am going to end up. Hopefully it's good. Oh yeah and I'm friends with Sarah again... probably for good this time. It's ridiculous for us to fight and "stop being friends" because we both know after a few months we both miss each other and just wanna hang out again. haha.
Jewell is starting 2nd grade in a few weeks. I got her school assignment in the mail the other day and am supposed to get another letter telling me about the bus and school schedule and I have to register her soon! I am feeling slightly overwhelmed but I know that I have Jenna and my parents to help me if I need it. That helps me calm down.. sometimes.
Even though I'm getting so much done in life right now, I feel like somehow, in some way, I'm wasting my time with something. I am afraid to try to put my finger on it for fear that it's something I hadn't thought of and it turns out to be this big huge thing that appeared when I was too busy to notice. Maybe I care too much right now and I just need to relax.
The Face
