Headlock.

I feel so strange lately. Slight contradictions are occurring, and I dunno... There's a curve in the road of my life and I don't know what's around it just yet. Here's more patience the Universe is trying to teach me, I guess. Though, I will admit, I am vastly more patient than I was a few months ago... so obviously the Universe knows what it's doing, as per usual. Don't know why I even think of doubting it.

There is also a situation I find myself in... and it feels oddly familiar, except I'm on a different side of the spectrum, now seeing it in its entirety... and understanding why people do the things they do, even if it would be so easy to change the situation. Yes... someone is going to get hurt. I won't even say probably because it's a simple fact: someone will get hurt. Change does NOT occur without someone's parade getting thrown off course. Thankfully enough I have a heart and a brain that are both fully functional, and I have the sense and decency to remove myself from the situation completely until things settle down and the necessary changes have been made. Again with the patience thing... just gotta take a step back, wait it out, and resume the friendship.

The other situation in my life is constantly throwing me for a loop. One minute, the story goes like this, the next minute... it's that. But honestly, I prefer the latter. I want to be missed, I want to have plans, I want this feeling to last, I want it to grow, I want it to be something wonderful... I want, I want, I want.

"Patience, child." The Universe tells me. "Patience."

I'm usually a quick study, but in the practice of learning patience, there's obviously no 'quick' is there? The constant struggle in my life is letting go. I used to have things put together in my life so I controlled everything, and I would get upset if it did not go according to plan. These days, I try not to plan much in advance, and set little to no expectations for everything. I think that these things have helped to build to this learning experience, or at least are enhancing the learning process, so that I learn it better.

ZEN.

Someday I will be a patient person. For now, I shall simply strive to be.