"To F--s S. O--d"

Thou wouldst be loved? - then let thy heart
From its present pathway part not!
Being everything which now thou art,
Be nothing which thou art not.
So with the world they gentle ways,
Thy grace, thy more than beauty,
Shall be an endless theme of praise,
And love - a simple duty.


~ Edgar Allan Poe


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I'm at a point in my life where I want meaning.

Buffy's lezzie moment...

Wisdom Tooth Extraction - Today. :(

quote of the day

"If two past lovers can remain friends, either they were never in love, or they still are."










This makes me think of YOU.









Imu.

Cause who doesn't love some hot lezzie action?

found this here

Crystalline Reiki Grid

Contemplative.

I'm not entirely sure when the switch happened, but I think I'm finally okay with the way my life is going right now. I've had a couple of decent dates in the last few weeks or so and I guess I'm feeling pretty confident right about now. The current state of my heart is: beating. I finally got through the part where I felt like I didn't have one at all... I welcome its return. Maybe now I can actually trust someone with it...

My artwork is starting to get better, maybe because I'm taking my time a little more and actually focusing? I am finally to that point where I can set something down if I can't get anywhere with it, whereas before I was always so concerned with COMPLETING an art project the first time I sit down with it. Finally got it through my head that things take time if you want them to look good.

I've also been getting in some quality time with my hula hoop. :) She is so wonderful, but as of yet doesn't have a name. It's strange to spend so much time with an inanimate object without a name, I name everything, haha. We'll see what she ends up with.

My appeal is finally going through, which means I'm going to be getting a lump sum of money... and possibly fix my car! And get my fixed gear bike finally. I have enough to do it now, but I'd much rather wait until I have some extra $ as well, so I can customize it and make it mine. I've decided on using all 3 of my favorite colors on it (brown, green, yellow). This lump sum also means that Kim, Machine and I can get a bigger apartment which = me having a real bedroom, my OWN bedroom, which is fantastical. It's been so long since I've had a bedroom of my own. The last one I had I shared with my last girlfriend. Ugh. That situation was stupid too, because I moved into the room that I was renting from a friend and she spent the night the first 2 nights I was there..... and then never... left... it was interesting to deal with. I think that's why I decided the next girlfriend I have (whenever that happens) I will NOT be living with, at least not for a looooong while. I've lived with all 4 girlfriends I've had previously... and those relationships obviously didn't work out. So I'm going to try something new... whenever I am finally ready to have another girlfriend, haha ((can you tell I'm not ready since I keep mentioning this part?))

Happiness is within my grasp these days. I feel good about almost everything. It's been so long since I felt like this... it's wonderful and scary as hell at the same time, because I don't want it to go away... Thankfully this time, the only person who can take my happiness away is me.

joke time

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?



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A: I dunno... It's like.... kind of an obscure number, you probably haven't heard of it...? Yeah.

The gayest video I've seen in 2009 (so far... 2 days in)

Arlan of The Daily Lesbian Moment Blog posted this video today. I wanted to share it as well. It's just that good. :)

word of the day

TANOREXIC : Heard this word for the first time today while watching "The Real O.C. Wives" or whatever that show is.. :) My neighbor, Phil, is hilarious. So I looked up the word online. Enjoy!

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TANOREXIA

Tanning addiction is a rare syndrome where an individual appears to have a physical and/or psychological addiction to sunbathing or the use of tanning beds. The mechanism of the addiction is unknown at this time.

Medical evidence

In 2005, a group of dermatologists published a study showing that frequent tanners experience a loss of control over their tanning schedule, displaying a pattern of addiction similar to smokers and alcoholics.

Biochemical evidence indicates that tanning addicts are addicted to an opioid release experienced during tanning. When frequent tanners took an endorphin blocker in a 2006 study, they experienced severe withdrawal symptoms, while infrequent tanners experienced no withdrawal symptoms under the same conditions.

Tanorexia

Tanorexia is the term often used to describe a condition in which a person participates in excessive outdoor sun tanning or excessive use of other skin tanning methods (such as tanning beds) to achieve a darker skin complexion because they perceive themselves as unacceptably pale. The syndrome is different than tanning addiction, although both may fit into the same syndrome and can be considered a subset of tanning addiction.

Although the term "tanorexia" has been commonly used by the media and several doctors to describe the syndrome, both the word and syndrome have not been widely accepted by the medical community, and is considered a slang by many. The term was coined after the medical condition anorexia nervosa, a disorder characterized by low body weight and body image distortion with an obsessive fear of gaining weight. It can be likened to the common practice of adding the suffix "-oholic" (from the term alcoholic) to the end of any action or food someone enjoys extensively and often (e.g. "choc-oholic," "golf-oholic," "shop-oholic," etc.).

Serious cases of tanorexia can be considered dangerous because many of the more popular methods of tanning (such as those mentioned above) require prolonged exposure to UV radiation, which is known to be a cause of many negative side effects, including skin cancer.

Extreme instances may be an indication of Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), a mental disorder in which one is extremely critical of his or her physique or self-image to an obsessive and compulsive degree. As it is with anorexia, a person with BDD is said to show signs of a characteristic called distorted body image. In layman's terms, anorexia sufferers commonly believe they are overweight, many times claiming they see themselves as "fat," when in reality, they are nutritionally underweight and physically much thinner than the average person. In the same way, a sufferer of "tanorexia" may believe him or herself to have a much lighter--even a pale--complexion when he or she is actually quite dark-skinned.

Symptoms of tanorexia

Although the syndrome has not been officially described by the medical community, reported symptoms may include: intense anxiety if a session of tanning is missed, competition among peers to see which can get the darkest tan, and chronic frustration about the color of one's skin, with the affected person being convinced his or her complexion is constantly lighter than it actually is.

(got this info from reference.com)