settling in

So I finally have a job that I feel like I'm going to stick with. I started at the Bancroft Hotel about a week ago, and I'm really enjoying it. I go in at midnight, do a bunch of paperwork, then sit around for a few hours and basically get paid to be awake at the hours I was usually awake for - except now I'm not costing myself sleep! I get off work at 7 am, ride my bike home 9 BLOCKS and sleep for several hours until K + M get home. It's rather wonderful.

I've had a few good times out with a certain girl lately. Having fun with her. If things were a bit different, or if I hadn't matured so much in the last few years, I might be a bit more smitten... but I'm trying to keep my head attatched to my body and my feet on the ground lately and focus on me a little more than I have in the past, and focusing too much on a female right now would not be good for that, not just yet.

Especially since I'm moving to Portland in July. Cause if I ended up with a girlfriend before that, I might not want to go... or I'd end up having to move in with her FAR too soon if she decided to come with. ALTHOUGH - I'm not ruling it out, who knows what could happen between now and July?

I'm trying to stop predicting my future. I've been far too controlling when it comes to my life, rather, certain aspects of it... i.e. my love life. I'm trying not to put too much stress on any situation that may or may not arise. Taking it easy. Because in the past I've put too much into having a g/f, and taking care of her - and end up neglecting myself and Jewell... my beautiful little girl.... who means more to me than anyone else ever will. That's right, sorry girls! You're lucky to come in 2nd in my life.... No one beats my Jujubee. :)

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K + M got bikes this week. All of us need new tires and/or rims... so we're still working on that. But all our bikes are currently rideable! We just want to customize them to our personal tastes... and Machine wants smaller tires, hers are bigger than mine even! and Kim's lol....

I love new bikes. And riding with great friends. So many adventures are possible in such a small time frame! Especially if everyone's down to ride a distance. I want to try to get everyone to ride from Berkeley to San Francisco with me sometime and bart back. We'll see how that goes.

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Time to get back to work! :)

Marriage

Article from Gay City News by Kelly Jean Cogswell

Apparently, there's some fixed amount of freedom in the world like oil in the ground, or gold, and anybody in their right mind tries to hoard it. That's the idea I get, anyway, when somebody's explaining why you can't give more rights to women (or people of color or immigrants). It'll be coming rights out of their pocket, and they can't afford it.

That seems to be the main argument in California, where proponents of Proposition 8 are claiming that same-sex marriage is somehow allowing queer opportunists to deprive them of their personal and religious freedom. If things go on as they are, advertisements say, God-fearing christians won't be free to even say same sex marriage is wrong because the thought police will be able to sue you. Churches won't be free to mount anti-gay campaigns and lobby for anti-gay politicians unless they want to lose their tax-exempt status, and teachers won't be free to ignore gay marriage, unless they want to lose their job.

Coupled with an enormous cash infusion, a cool $10 million more than queers, this campaign is working far better than old-style smear campaigns painting us as the usual monsters and child molesters. Instead, by making it seem like a question of lost rights, Californians can oppose gay marriage without feeling like bigots. In fact, they're the real victims here, with their civil liberties under attack from those clever gays. Its practically patriotic to vote for Proposition 8.

And what are embattled queer people countering that with? Ads with reassuring heterosexual faces explaining that we're not going to take over the world. That's right. The voice for same-sex marriage is embodied in smarmy hets like San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom. If you want straights, you should at least get them from Massachusetts where they can attest that after several years of gay marriage nobody's civil or religious freedoms have been abridged. The sky didn't fall. Just a few maple leaves.

If the Proposition passes, ending same-sex marriage, Ill blame national gay leadership, expecially Democrats, that already agreed to be invisible in the Obama campaign. By banning us from the cameras they make us seem like a bunch of pervs. It's for our own good, of course. Always for our own good. Mesmerized by their homophobic voices, we've lost our pride, and the belief in our own american story of loss and striving, like our fights to visit our partners in hospitals, share health insurance, make lives together, all the stories that could persuade a reluctant audience that does, essentially, value equality and civil rights.

Talking about lost rights is compelling on both sides. You've seen them, surely: gapped Americans standing on theirs? They're unstoppable. Which is why politicians play on issues of rights all the time. Sometimes for the force of good, like we could do in California to protect same-sex marriage.

But usually its a conservative tactic.
Every law, every regulation is a constraint, a subtraction of your rights. it's why bush was so successful deregulating the finance industry and why he got pretty far promising to privatize social security.
"Don't you want to control your future?"
Of course we do. Phrased that way, social security sounds more like a noose than a safety net. Who could support it but corrupt politicians? The problem, of course, is that nobody ever says what we'd do with all those folks who seized control of their futures, decided to invest in the stock market, and failed. I guess now they'd have the right to eat cat food and sleep on the street.

It's always effective to evoke imaginary lost rights when there are so many real losses-lost jobs, lost homes, lost income, lost sons, and lost daughters. Expecially now, when it feels like everything has slipped through our fingers under Bush. The Iraq War, prosperity, national pride, the constitution.

There's also quantifiable loss. Between military expenditures and the little matter of the $700 billion bailout, we're so far in the hole we ran out of digits on the national debt clock in New York.

Its tempting to cling to the little we have, hoard our rights. Like with children, I suppose the only counter to miserly behavior is to explain the benefit of sharing. In the case of same-sex marriage, we could argue that it strengthens an institution plenty of heterosexuals are turning away from, and also guarantees that we queers take care of our partners so that they don't become burdens on "society.
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On the other hand, if our fellow citizens refuse to share the wealth with same-sex couples, maybe we should shift our focus altogether, and demand they quit awarding any special rights to heterosexual marriages. Then we can all share the loss.



Fact Vs Fiction on Prop 8 (marriage equality new york)

Proponents of prop 8 continue to lie in their television ads.


Fiction: Teaching children about same-sex marriage will happen here unless we pass Prop 8.

Fact: Not one word in Prop 8 mentions education, and no child can be forced, against the will of their parents, to be taught anything about health and family issues at school. California law prohibits it, and yes on 8 campaign knows they are lying. Sacramento Superior Court Judge Timothy Frawley has already ruled that this claim by Prop 8 proponents is "false and misleading.
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Fiction: Churches could lose their tax-exemption status.

Fact: Nothing in Prop 8 would force churches to do anything. In fact, the court decision regarding marriage specifically says "no religion will be required to change its religious policies or practices with regard to same-sex couples, and no religious officiant will be required to solemnize a marriage in contravention of his or her religious beliefs.
"

Fiction: A Massachusetts case about a parent's objection to school curriculum will happen here.

Fact: Unlike Massachusetts, California gives parents an absolute right to remove their kids and opt-out of teaching on health and family instruction they don't agree with. The opponents know that California law already covers this and Prop 8 won't affect it, so they bring up an irrelevant case in Massachusetts.


Fiction: Four activist judges in San Francisco.....
Fact: Prop 8 is not about courts and judges, its about eliminating a fundamental right. Judges didn't grant the right, the constitution guarantees the right. Proponents of Prop 8 use an outdated and stale argument that judges aren't supposed to protect rights and freedoms. Thsi campaign is about whether Californians, right now, in 2008 are willing to amend the constitution for the sole purpose of eliminating a fundamental right for one group of citizens.


Fiction: People can be sued over personal beliefs.

Fact: California's laws already prohibit discrimination against anyone based on race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation. This has nothing to do with marriage.


Fiction: Pepperdine University supports the Yes on 8 campaign.

Fact: The university has publicly disassociated itself from Professor Richard Peterson of Pepperdine University, who is featured in the ad, and has asked not to be identified in the Yes on 8 advertisements.


Fiction: Unless Prop 8 passes, CA parents won't have the right to object to what their children are taught in school.

Fact: California law clearly gives parents and guardians broad authority to remove their children from any health instruction if it conflicts with their religious beliefs or moral convictions.




Regardless of how you feel about marriage in general, we should stand against eliminating fundamental rights for ANYONE. Please encourage friends and family in California to vote NO on prop 8.


Support NO on Prop 8 by visiting www. firstgiving. com/menyprop8

Portland

Cakes, Machine and I have decided to take my Juju and move to Portland, Oregon. We're moving in July 2009. I feel like it will be a good change for us all. We invited Badger and Lia to move up there with us and be our neighbors because we would miss them too much. We also invited Je', and Johnny seemed interested, but only as far as Ashland for them. Which is cool, they'd only be 5 hours away instead of 10. :)

I researched schools for Juju. The schools in the area of Portland that we want to live in are some of the best in the city. SE Portland.... where the music and art happens, the closest to Berkeley you can get outside of California. It's also much much cheaper than here and I dunno, just seems to have this vibe about it. Everyone in Portland knows that it's the place to be.

I'm excited. More details to come.

The Inquirer

The Inquirer

love life

....I'd like to have one.

Maybe a non-serious girlfriend. Someone to see when I've got some free time and my friends haven't penciled me in already... Or she could even come along sometimes (SOMETIMES).

Someone to snuggle with. And kiss. And cuddle. And get dressed up for. And celebrate stupid little things with.

I just miss having that someone. So many friends around me are all still twitterpated with their significant other. And I've had a few girlfriends over the course of a few years... and here I am, single yet again. *sigh*

I just miss that feeling. I don't necessarily want to fall in love, I just want to be appreciated whole-heartedly by someone.

Maybe I'll meet my Mrs. ..... Someday.

pictures

I deleted these pictures from my "space" today. So I thought I'd put them up elsewhere. Enjoy.

Berkeley

And so begins this new chapter in my life. Living with friends who really truly care about me. Leaving behind the others, with a tunnel between.

My tarot said that I should watch who I trust. I didn't think it meant who it is turning out to be. And the fact that it's her is crushing my spirit. But my tarot also said that I would be surrounded by good friends, and that was represented by a forest. And a forest grows up and sticks together. It's funny because I feel like I moved in with family. Thank goodness for them.

I started working on my friendships with people so that everyone could get along and be friends. I felt like it was I who was holding that back, and now that my stance has changed, everyone is fighting with each other! I guess we just can't all win. Ever.

This is going to be the first of many posts. So get ready to know far too much about Jeru.